The divorce process can bring about a plethora of emotions, from sadness to relief, all within the same day or months from each other. It’s already emotional knowing that your marriage has ended, and you may be dealing with heartbreak.
Whether or not your marriage ended amicably, heartbreak after divorce affects so many. There are many life changes once the divorce is final, whether or not you share children. From living separately to adjusting to life as a single person and everything in between, there’s a lot to adapt to. If you have a broken heart post-divorce, continue reading for 5 tips for healing heartbreak after a divorce to make things easier.
1. Allow Yourself to Feel
It’s perfectly okay to let yourself feel your emotions, no matter what they are. If you’re sad, let yourself be sad. Likewise, if you’re angry, let yourself feel that anger. Grieving the loss of a marriage and your ex is necessary whether you are still in love with them or can’t stand to be around them. The loss of a spouse can be catastrophic since your then-life partner is now an acquaintance or co-parent.
According to the American Psychological Association, there is no “normal” amount of time to spend grieving – it’s more of an individual process. You can’t expect the grief process to be a certain amount of time; it will come in waves throughout your healing process. When you start to feel the effects of grieving, let yourself cry, scream, laugh – whatever emotion you’re feeling, let it out and remind yourself it’s okay.
2. Try Therapy
There are many resources for anyone in any stage of life when it comes to therapy, divorcees included. If you’re struggling internally with heartbreak, you may benefit from seeing a therapist. If you’re struggling to communicate with your co-parent or if the divorce has put a strain on your relationship with your children, you may benefit from family counseling.
Therapists can help you process your emotions and give you the tools you need to move on and gain a clear perspective. Therapy is one of the best resources available for divorcees and all individuals at any stage of life. Our Family Wizard has a great online tool to find a therapist in your area for your specific need.
3. Take Care of Yourself
Everyone’s experienced heartbreak, whether it was from the break-up of their first love or the death of a loved one. That gut-wrenching feeling can overpower any other emotions and can often consume us. It’s easy to get into a rut of not caring your yourself while you grieve. To counteract the effects of heartbreak, you need to take some time to find yourself. Easier said than done, right?
There are baby steps you can take to make yourself feel better: eat healthily, get exercise, plan nights out with friends, book those spa appointments you’ve been avoiding, etc. There are many ways to rediscover yourself post-divorce – you owe it to yourself to make yourself a priority again.
4. Take a Break From Social Media
Social media is a highlight reel where we share the best moments of our lives. You rarely see people posting about the lows and things they’re struggling with, and instead, see the highs. When you feel your lousiest and are heartbroken after divorce, the last thing you want to see is a newly engaged couple or photos from a recent wedding. Or worse, your ex posting about a new relationship.
Take a break from social media as you deal with heartbreak. Removing the apps on your phone can feel liberating, freeing up so much time of mindless scrolling. While it can be a great thing, social media can impact our mental health and well-being. Give yourself a grace period and take a break when you need to.
5. Forgive Yourself or Your Ex
The healing process of heartbreak can’t begin until you learn to forgive yourself or your ex. Marriages end for all sorts of reasons, from misconduct/affairs to other forms of betrayal and anything in between. We tend to hold animosity against our ex if they betrayed us, and vice versa. Harboring those negative feelings will only exacerbate heartbreak. Instead, forgive yourself or your ex.
It may sound crazy, but forgiving your former spouse for cheating or forgiving yourself for betraying them is probably something you never thought you could do. However, forgiving is part of the grieving process that allows you to release those negative feelings and invites positive energy. A therapist can help you forgive yourself or your ex – it’ll take time and dedication but can be done. And you’ll feel way better in the long run.
Divorce and heartbreak are tough. Fortunately, there are plenty of resources to help you cope. Following the tips above can help heal heartbreak. Below are some additional resources for divorcees:
- 4 Tips for Successful Co-parenting
- How to Cope with Your Former Spouse Dating
- How to Regain Financial Independence Post-Divorce
- How to Help Your Teen Through the Divorce Process
If you are going through the divorce process and are looking for a family law attorney in Kansas (in and around the Leawood area) or a family law attorney in Kansas City and the surrounding area, The Kuhl Law Firm, LLC can help. We can also help modify an existing parenting plan or help with any child custody matter.
We’re dedicated to the practice of family law and can help guide you through any family law matter, keeping your best interests in mind. With over fifty-four years of combined legal experience, our family law firm is a team skilled in negotiation and litigation, handling family law matters from the most complex to the most straightforward.
We have offices in Lee’s Summit, Missouri, and Leawood, Kansas (consultations by appointment only). In addition to our two physical locations, our firm’s family and divorce attorneys have practiced in Jackson, Clay, Cass, Lafayette, Platte County, Missouri, and Johnson County, Kansas. Contact our family law firm today to schedule a consultation – we can meet in person or face-to-face via Zoom.