It’s the end of another year with the hope and excitement of a new year on the horizon. There’s nothing like the feeling of the New Year’s Eve countdown as we enter a brand new year full of possibilities. Many of us make resolutions each year, aiming for weight loss, and setting work goals or personal life goals that will improve us.
Did you know that the idea of New Year’s resolutions has been around since the 1600s? It didn’t become more mainstream until 200 years ago, and now most people set goals for themselves as a new year begins. Have you ever made resolutions? Whether you stick with them or not, it’s exciting to envision positive changes for a new year.
If you’re newly divorced, your world as you knew it is entirely different now that you’re single. Many divorcees go through a variety of emotions, from sadness to anger to happiness during the divorce process. A new year is an excellent time for you to make some resolutions as you adjust to being divorced. Keep reading for 5 resolution ideas for the newly divorced so you can make the most out of 2023.
1. Rediscover Yourself
Divorcing is never easy; it can take a toll on your mental and physical health. Whether your divorce was uncontested and amicable or had its challenges, everyone needs to heal from divorce. Rediscovering yourself post-divorce is something every newly divorced individual should do. Taking time to explore new hobbies, a new career, or make new friends are fantastic ways to put yourself first and rediscover who you are as an individual.
2. Set Healthy Boundaries
If you have children with your former spouse, you must communicate with them to maintain a co-parenting relationship. You’ll need to discuss the children’s activities, any doctor’s appointments, and anything to do with custody. All of this communication will have you communicating with your ex often, and periodically it can be unhealthy depending on your relationship. If you were a pleaser in your marriage, usually letting things slide or let them walk all over you, setting healthy boundaries can be a great resolution for you to set.
Setting healthy boundaries doesn’t need to be intimidating. It can be as simple as not tolerating a particular behavior or comment from your ex as you used to, not allowing them to belittle you moving forward. Or, you can take what you’ve learned from your previous relationship and apply those healthy boundaries in a new relationship, knowing what you will and will not tolerate.
3. Don’t Date Just to Avoid Loneliness
Possibly one of the best resolutions you can make for yourself is to not date just to avoid loneliness. It can be a little lonely as you navigate life after a divorce, adjusting to a new living space, a new schedule with your kids, and learning how to live single as opposed to married. While there is a lot to deal with during and after the divorce process, you may find yourself lonely at times.
However, don’t start scrolling on dating apps or accepting dates to fill your quiet and lonely times. Dating before you’re ready can lead to unhappiness and a poor relationship with your new partner. Instead, fill up that lonely time by trying a new workout class or finally seeing that movie you’ve wanted to see in theatres. Give yourself time to heal before you start dating again. You’ll know when you’re ready.
4. Make New Friends
Odds are you share mutual friends with your ex. Whether you remain close to them or find them distancing from you and siding with your ex, it may be time to reevaluate your friendships. If remaining friends with your ex’s friends or hanging out in your shared former group is too painful, make some new friends! Having new companionships post-divorce can be refreshing, especially if they don’t know your ex. You never know who you may form a friendship with or discover about yourself along the way!
5. Improve Your Co-Parenting Relationship
Do you and your ex communicate well when it comes to the kids? Or are you both still hashing out old wounds and can’t tolerate being in the same room together for long? Believe it or not, even social media and text messages can impact a family law case depending on the nature of the message. Whatever the case, make it a goal next year to improve your co-parenting relationship. A successful co-parenting relationship with your ex is healthy for all involved: yourself, your ex, and your children. Make it a point to stay neutral when it comes to your ex and to only discuss your children to avoid any hard feelings or negativity in your life.
With a new year comes a fresh start, especially if you’re newly divorced. Take advantage of 2023 by setting some new resolutions like those listed above. From all of us at The Kuhl Law Firm, LLC, we hope you have a wonderful holiday season and a very happy New Year!
If you are going through the divorce process and are looking for a family law attorney in Kansas (in and around the Leawood area) or a family law attorney in Kansas City and the surrounding area, The Kuhl Law Firm, LLC can help. We can also help modify an existing parenting plan or help with any child custody matter.
We’re dedicated to the practice of family law and can help guide you through any family law matter, keeping your best interests in mind. With over fifty-four years of combined legal experience, our family law firm is a team skilled in negotiation and litigation, handling family law matters from the most complex to the most straightforward.
We have offices in Lee’s Summit, Missouri, and Leawood, Kansas (consultations by appointment only). In addition to our two physical locations, our firm’s family and divorce attorneys have practiced in Jackson, Clay, Cass, Lafayette, Platte County, Missouri, and Johnson County, Kansas. Contact our family law firm today to schedule a consultation – we can meet in person or face-to-face via Zoom.